"Silence isn’t the same as agreement"

In a recent 1:1 with an experienced engineer, I fell into advice mode.

They tried, twice, to share their perspective, but I kept going. Eventually, they stopped contributing.

At first, I thought maybe they agreed with me. But a part of me knew better they were withdrawing from the conversation.

Here’s the thing: when someone withdraws from a conversation, it often means they’ve mentally stepped away from the outcome too.

As leaders, we can’t afford to assume silence = agreement. It’s too easy to walk out of a conversation thinking we’re aligned, only to find out later we’re on totally different pages.

Tomorrow, I’ll share a story about how this same dynamic can derail an entire initiative.

Until then,
Dermot
The Messy Middle