"Being direct doesn’t make you a jerk. But this might"

There’s a great piece by Dave at Scarlet Ink about how the more senior you get, the more direct your communication tends to become.

You’ve got limited time, more decisions, and more people depending on you. So you start saying things like:

And to someone earlier in their career, that can feel… cold.

But here’s the thing:

If a software developer says,

…do they get met with respect?
Or a power play?

If you’re direct with others, but can’t handle directness when it’s aimed back at you,
that’s not leadership. That’s hierarchy.

Assertiveness, when it’s mutual, builds trust.
It sets clear boundaries.
It gets things done.

But if the moment someone pushes back, you pull rank—you’re not leading anymore.
You’re managing perception.

And the real damage?
People learn that clarity is dangerous.
So they soften. Filter. Avoid.

And you lose what you most need:
​honest signals from the people doing the work.

Until next time,
Dermot
​The Messy Middle

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