"The smallest change that makes the biggest difference"

If there’s one thing I hope this series has made clear, it’s this: you don’t need a script to give good feedback. You need awareness.

Because the truth is, most feedback isn’t cruel or careless. It’s well-intentioned. It’s trying to help. It just lands in the wrong place.

It lands on the person instead of the idea. It assumes instead of observes. It protects the point, but not the relationship.

And every time that happens, even just a little, something in the team pulls back.
Less safety. Less trust.
Fewer half-formed thoughts shared.
Fewer messy problems named early, while they’re still fixable.

But here’s the good news: it doesn’t take much to shift that. Just a small moment of attention.

One less “you”, and one more “this code”. One beat to ask, “what did I really see?” One sentence that says, “I want to figure this out with you,” instead of, “I’ve already decided.”

That’s how strong teams are built. Not through perfect communication, but through feedback that’s direct, human, and anchored in trust.

Thanks for sticking with this series. If there’s a moment you’ve been chewing on, something you want to phrase better, or unpack, I’d love to hear it.

Until next time,
Dermot
​The Messy Middle

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