"If it feels fake, you’re doing it wrong"

This is one of the most common objections to being intentional with feedback:

And honestly, fair enough.

If it feels scripted, it probably is.
And if it sounds like someone else’s voice, it won’t land as authentic.

But here’s the distinction I’ve come to rely on:

Intentional doesn’t mean unnatural.

We don’t need to memorise frameworks or speak in formulas.
We just need to pause before we speak.
To notice when our frustration is bleeding into our phrasing.
To catch the “you” that turns an observation into an accusation.
To choose words that clarify instead of corner.

If that feels awkward at first, that’s not a sign it’s fake.
That’s just what it feels like to grow.

Over time, you’ll find a voice that’s yours, honest, human, and clear.

That’s not fake. That’s leadership.

Until next time,
Dermot
​The Messy Middle

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