"Being a manager means facing the emotional stuff—even if it’s awkward"

A quick reminder: we're not therapists.
We're not here to dig into childhood trauma or hold space for every feeling.
But we are leaders in a human system.

And human systems are emotional.

So part of the job—an often uncomfortable part—is learning to notice when something unspoken is getting in the way. And then doing the one thing most people won’t:

Broadening and deepening the conversation.
Especially when it gets awkward.

Here’s what I’ve noticed.

Most managers are trained—formally or socially—to avoid emotion at work.
Keep it professional. Stick to the agenda. Don’t get too soft.

So when someone goes quiet, or a heated comment lands with a thud, we move on.
We speed up. We smooth it over.

Good managers create just enough space for the emotional undercurrent to surface, safely, respectfully, and in service of the work.

That’s not therapy.
That’s management.
And it’s something I’m still learning to do, one awkward pause at a time.

Until next time,
Dermot
The Messy Middle

✉️ Enjoying The Messy Middle?
If this sparked something useful, consider forwarding it to a colleague or friend, it might help them too.

If someone sent this email your way and you’d like to get it direct, you can sign up here.