It starts small.
A teammate says, “Can you have a quick look at this before I merge?”
Then another one pings you with, “Just want to be sure this is okay.”
Eventually, people stop merging without you. You’re trying to be helpful. Supportive.
But without realising it, you’ve become the final checkpoint.
The bottleneck. And now, you’re stuck reviewing every decision, not because you asked to,
but because somewhere along the way, the team stopped feeling safe to move without you. What happened? It might’ve started with how you handled a bug that slipped through code review.
You spotted it, flagged it, maybe even said you were disappointed.
Disappointed that you were the only one who spotted such an obvious bug. Nothing major. But it planted a seed:
Better run this by the TL first, just in case. Now, no one wants to take the risk of getting it wrong.
They check in. You oblige. And over time, your time disappears. The intent was support.
The result is dependence. You’re not just reviewing code — you’re shaping norms.
Every time you say “Sure, send it over,” you’re reinforcing a loop:
Trust flows up, not across. And the team learns:
“Don’t trust yourself. Wait for the boss.” Want to break the loop? Next time someone asks you to review something you know they can handle, try:
“I trust your judgment if it feels ready, go for it.” Or:
“If you’re unsure, talk it through with [another team member]. I want us to build trust across the team, not just through me.” Because the goal isn’t to be the smartest person in the room.
It’s to make sure you’re not in every room. Until next time,
Dermot
The Messy Middle ✉️ Enjoying The Messy Middle?
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