In the books, discovery workshops look clean.
Event Storming. User Story Mapping.
A fluid conversation between engaged participants, uncovering requirements and shaping software together. In reality? It’s a room full of awkward silence. People don’t “get” the method.
They’ve never tried it before.
They feel lost but don’t want to say so, especially not in front of their manager. And there I am, at the front of the room, trying to make it all work.
Feeling the pressure to lead, to perform certainty, to make it smooth. What I’ve learned, slowly, is that the only way out is through. I’ve started saying the quiet part out loud:
“I don’t totally know where this is going either, but I think we’ll figure it out together.”
“I need everyone in this room to lean into the uncertainty.”
“If there’s a better way to approach this, I’m all ears.” And something shifts.
The pressure drops.
People speak.
We start to build shared understanding, not just of the system, but of each other. It still ebbs and flows.
Each phase of the exercise ends and the awkwardness returns.
But now I expect it. And instead of filling the silence, I name it: “This part’s always a bit fuzzy. Let’s sit with it for a minute.” That’s my go-to now, coming clean.
Not to abdicate responsibility, but to invite participation.
To make it safe to stumble together toward clarity. Because that’s what it takes to deliver something that actually meets the need. Until next time,
Dermot
The Messy Middle ✉️ Enjoying The Messy Middle?
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