"Psychological safety isn’t a team trait, it’s a leadership responsibility"

I used to think psychological safety was about how team members treat each other.

If someone shut down a colleague’s idea with “that’ll never work” or rolled their eyes during stand-up, I’d think, “We need to talk about team behaviour.”

And sure, that matters. But I’ve come to see it differently.

I’ve been on teams where ideas were shut down abruptly.
A suggestion is made, and someone else says:

The conversation moves on. No one says much.
And it’s tempting to chalk that up to the team dynamic, as if safety is something the group either maintains or breaks.

But here’s the thing:

In every one of those moments, it was the leader’s response that determined whether safety was restored, or quietly eroded.

Because the truth is:

Psychological safety is shaped most by the person with the most power in the room.

If you’re the tech lead, engineering manager, staff engineer, you’re it.
And your job in that moment is not just to keep the conversation moving. It’s to slow it down.

When someone dismisses a colleague’s idea with “that’ll never work,”​
you don’t move on.
You pause.
You ask:

Not because you disagree, but because you’re protecting the right to contribute, and showing that no voice gets to dominate unchallenged.

Safety isn’t built when people agree, it’s built in how we handle disagreement.

And while everyone plays a part, the leader sets the tone.
Not just with what they say, but with what they let go unexamined.

So next time an idea gets shot down, don’t smooth it over.
Stay with the tension a little longer.
That’s where safety is either lost, or made.

Until next time,
Dermot
​The Messy Middle

​

✉️ Enjoying The Messy Middle?​
If this sparked something useful, consider forwarding it to a colleague or friend, it might help them too.

If someone sent this email your way and you’d like to get it direct, you can sign up here.