"Intent Is Invisible, Impact Is Real"
When I think back to the email I received from the boss with a long list of issues that happened during my holiday, I’m almost certain of one thing: my boss’s intent wasn’t to make me feel bad. Their intent was a discussion. Capture the issues, debate the details, fix what needed fixing. But that’s not what happened. For me, it felt like judgment. Not because of the content, but because I couldn’t see their intent—only the impact. And the impact was a few days of stress and self-doubt. That’s the blind spot many of us fall into as leaders. We assume our intent is obvious, when in reality it’s invisible. Once words leave us, people fill in the gaps with their own fears, assumptions, and stories. It’s why I now make a habit of naming my intent, especially when delivering feedback. A simple line like “I’m sharing this so we can work it through together” doesn’t guarantee it will land perfectly, but it at least reduces the chance of my words being mistaken for a verdict. Because in the end, it’s not what we meant that matters, it’s how it’s received. Until next time, ✉️ Enjoying The Messy Middle? If someone sent this email your way and you’d like to get it direct, you can sign up here. |