"The reluctant leader"

“I just want to code. I just want to get on and get things done.”

A Principal Engineer once said that to me.
I paused, thought about it, then told them I couldn’t see a world where they’d ever just code.

Here’s why.

Imagine them joining a new team. They commit some code. Someone leaves a comment on the pull request. They can’t help but respond. Maybe they agree, maybe they disagree. If they disagree, they’ll speak up. Then they’ll find others who agree with them, and soon they’re shaping how the team works.

They never asked for it, but suddenly they’re the one people look to. A leader, by default.

And it wouldn’t stop there. In stakeholder meetings, where decisions are made about what to build, they’d speak up. Before long, they’d become the expert in that part of the code. Everyone turning to them for input and insight.

But then comes the weight of it all.
Colleagues looking to them for answers.
Stakeholders expecting them to know.
The pressure building.

And suddenly they wished it all away.
​I don’t want this anymore. I just want to code.

But by then, they’re already a force in the group.

This is the reluctant leader. Someone whose opinions and habits pull them into influence, even when it makes them unhappy.

It’s a reminder that in human systems, intent doesn’t equal outcome.
You may want to just code, but how others respond to you changes the story.

Have you ever caught yourself leading, even when you didn’t mean to?

Until next time,
Dermot
The Messy Middle.

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