"The split-second flare"

Have you ever felt it?
That flash of heat in your chest when someone says something in a meeting that just… sets you off.
It’s there before you even think about it.

I’ve been there.
The irritation, the tightness, the urge to push back. Sometimes it even comes out sharper than I intended.

In some Eastern traditions, anger is described as a poison, a state of mind that clouds judgment and causes harm. It’s not that anger never arises (we’re human, after all), but that when we let it steer us, it distorts reality. It narrows our view, makes us see enemies where there may only be misunderstandings, and it almost always leaves damage behind.

And yet, anger is also a signal. It tells us something we care about feels threatened. A value. A boundary. A reputation. The feeling isn’t wrong. The question is what we do with it.

As leaders, we can’t stop anger from flaring up. But we can choose whether it poisons the moment or whether we pause, breathe, and look more deeply at what it’s pointing to.

When did anger last flare up for you at work? How did it shape what you saw in that moment?

Until next time,
Dermot
The Messy Middle.

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