"When anger wears a mask"

“I’m angry because this hurts our customers.”
Sounds noble, doesn’t it?

But sometimes that’s not the full story.
Sometimes the real driver is quieter, and closer to home:
“I’m worried my peers or bosses will see this as my failure.”

That’s the tricky thing about anger. On the surface it looks righteous — protecting the customer, defending the team, standing up for quality. But underneath, it’s often fear wearing anger’s mask: fear of being judged, of losing credibility, of looking weak.

The danger isn’t in the fear itself. We all feel it. The danger is in pretending it isn’t there. Because when your stated reason (“this is about the customer”) doesn’t match your real driver (“this is about my reputation”), people notice the contradiction. Trust slips. Credibility erodes.

Anger isn’t always what it seems. Look beneath it. If fear is the true driver, acknowledge it, at least to yourself.

Think back to a time you spoke from anger. Was it really about the issue in front of you, or was something underneath, like fear of judgment, shaping your words?

Until next time,
Dermot
The Messy Middle.

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