"Owning what’s underneath"

Here’s the risk with anger at work:
If you only tell the surface story, people eventually notice the gap.

“I’m angry because this hurts our customers.”
Then, a week later, you make a decision that prioritizes speed over customer care.
Now the team sees the contradiction, and your credibility takes the hit.

It’s not that you don’t care about customers. You do.
But if the real fuel behind your anger was fear, fear of looking bad, fear of losing trust with your peers, hiding that truth creates cracks people can’t unsee.

The alternative? Own what’s underneath. You don’t need to bare every insecurity, but you can be more transparent:

• “I’m angry this happened because it risks our customers’ trust, and honestly, it risks our reputation as a team too. Both matter.”

Now your words and your actions line up. No mask. No gap.

Anger plus honesty builds credibility. Name both the value at stake and the fear beneath it. Your team will trust you more for it.

When anger shows up, pause and ask: What is this really pointing to? A value, a fear, or a self-interest? How do I stay honest about that?

Until next time,
Dermot
The Messy Middle.

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