When a meeting tips into heat, leaders often feel caught:
Do I shut it down? Do I take sides? Do I let it run? There’s another option.
You don’t have to fix the disagreement for people.
You can simply give them space, and a nudge, to help themselves be heard. Here are a few lines you can use when a conversation spirals: - “I want to pause here, do you feel your point has been fully heard? If not, let’s take a moment to make sure it is.”
- “It sounds like both of you have strong views. Let’s slow down so each perspective can land fully before we move on.”
- “Would it help if you restated what’s most important to you, just to make sure it’s clear?”
- “Before we go further, could you each reflect back what you’ve heard from the other side? Let’s check we understand each other’s point of view.”
- “I want to make sure this is balanced. Everyone deserves to feel their view has been understood, even if we decide differently.”
These interventions don’t silence anyone. They lower the temperature, remind people of their own agency, and bring the focus back to understanding instead of winning. As a leader, you don’t need to settle every dispute. Sometimes the most powerful move is offering language that helps people feel heard, and inviting them to use it. Next time tension rises in a meeting, what’s one line you could keep in your pocket to help people bring themselves back on track? Until next time,
Dermot
The Messy Middle. ✉️ Enjoying The Messy Middle?
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